Sunday, May 13, 2012

I Love Spring. I Hate May.

Augh.  I'm having such a hard time with this one!!  Isn't spring the best season ever?  Here are my favorite parts of spring:

* Daylight!!  (Especially the 6:00 am light and 8:00 pm light!)
* Birds chirping
* Clothes on the clothesline
* 7:00 Dinner time
* Parks
* Walks
* Outdoor crafts
* Annual flowers
* Greenhouses
* Bike rides
* Our deck
* Track meets
* The smell of freshly mowed grass
* Open windows
* Sandals
* T-shirts
* Continuous pony-tails
* Open moon roof
* Spring cleaning
* The end of the school year!!!

That last one is maybe my favorite part of spring!  BUT...... it also causes me HUGE anxiety.  Like crazy huge.   I've been 'on edge' for the past two weeks and I know it's because it's the end of the year.  Everything at school is escalating.  Behavior incidents, recess incidents, friendship/ enemy problems, parent concerns, student concerns, teacher concerns.  And I know that summer is not all lazy-hazy for many kids.  It's chaos and disorganized and messy and in some cases it's really hard to handle.

At our own house, I feel the tension as my organization mission feels like its heading (very quickly) in the complete opposite of "organized".  M is working on finishing up the basement bedroom and I'm slowly getting a minute here or there to refinish the table/chairs/dressers/ coffee tables that are cluttering up our garage.  I'm trying to find time to train for a triathlon that is very clearly going to happen whether I am ready or not!  My perennials are growing quickly out of hand, the dandelions are taking over my flower beds, and our vegetables are nowhere near being planted.  I have letters to write, graduation gifts to buy, wedding cards to send, and C's adorable artwork to display.  Our bathrooms need cleaning, our beds need changing, and quite honestly, everything could probably use a good dusting--- until the next time we open up the windows and turn on the ceiling fans.

There is this idea that when summer comes for teachers, the world opens up and hands you this giant huge COLOSSAL gift called........  "FREE TIME".   You don't have to work!  You just lie in bed, read books, eat pancakes every morning, take your kids on educational field trips,  wash your delicates by hand, do a daily craft, eat lots of popsicles, hang out by the pool, and doze the summer away.

But the reality is that when summer time comes it's like:  "Oh $hit!  I need to get some much overdue projects accomplished!  I'm going to actually wash our windows.  I'm going to actually take the four garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill.   I'm going to recycle things that are recyclable and not throw them away just because or Recycling bin is overflowing.  I'm going to clean out the shed so that I can find one of my 50 million planters or garden clippers.  And.... I should be networking with other school counselors to find fun and creative projects and interventions to help put an end to bullying forever!"  (no pressure, right?)

And then, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking things like: "I should do fun things!  I should complete some fun projects! I should do nothing school-related!"  So here is my list of things I want to   (not should)  complete this summer:

1.  Finish organizing the play room  (it's getting closer!)
2.  Clean out (REALLY clean out) the garage
      2a.  Organize.  (REALLY organize) the garage
3.  Organize my iphotos
4.  Scrapbook
5.  Golf
6.  Work Out
7.  Go Camping
8.  Pay attention to our veggie garden
9.  Read light, cheesy, and sexy summer books
10.Go to garage sales

And just reading that list gives me anxiety.  We only have 9 weeks of summer. How am I going to be so productive, get my rest, get in the best shape of my life, and complete my entire "to do" list in just 9 little weeks!?

What?  What's that you say?  I'm not?

Nope.  So I think my new to do list should look something like this:

#1.  Relax.
#2.  Enjoy the sunshine.
#3.  Do a project if you feel the urge.  If not, read a book, drink some wine, browse the internet.
#4.  Soak up family time.
#5.  Be okay with what you get.  And be okay with what you don't.  

Yeah.  That sounds like me.  (sarcasm)  For now, I'll just deal with the anxiety and try to get another project accomplished soon.

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