Tuesday, January 29, 2013
January has 31 days. That's it. Just under five weeks. Only four weekends. Only 744 hours. Yet January 2013 has felt like a lifetime. Several lifetimes.
The weather has been so unusually lovely that you can actually feel the sun warming your cheeks.The weather has been so harsh it literally takes your breath away when you step outside. The weather has been so foggy that you cannot see more than 100 feet in front of you, and you just trust your knowledge that the road you're traveling really is leading you to where you're supposed to go. The weather has set record high temperatures on the same day as record lows.
And our Spahnville world seems to have mirrored this January weather. Our year started off ordinary enough, only to be dealt a sad hand. Rays of sunshine filled moments, just like the sun actually peeked through the massive clouds for a day or two. The breath was honestly stolen from my chest early on with one loss, just like the sub zero tempratures made me gasp for air upon walking outside. When given news of another loss, somewhat more elusive and much more confusing, I felt like we were alone, traveling in the most dense fog imaginable; not having any proof that I'm on the right track, only trusting that I'm somehow going to emerge from the fog. And trusting that when that fog lifts, we'll be right where we're supposed to be--whatever track that is. My emotions mirror these crazy Iowa forecasts, extreme highs and record lows. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the gifts in my life, yet deeply sorrowful about those gifts I've lost.
Out of those 31 days, our Spahnville hearts have been heavy for all but a few. But like the winter days, the darkness will eventually end. The weather will warm. The fog will lift. And when it does, we will be ready for some happiness.