Thursday, September 4, 2014

Five Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady

For the most part, people are super sweet when you're pregnant.  My co-workers are especially amazing and say the nicest things to me.  Things like, "You look great!"  "You don't even look pregnant until you turn around!" "You definitely are glowing" "Go home and put your feet up."  "Be sure to take time for yourself!" and my favorite, "Make sure Mason is rubbing your feet and giving you back rubs!"

But then, every once in awhile, I encounter someone who maybe missed the social skills lesson in Guidance class.  And I know it's just par for the course, but c'mon people... do you really think anyone wants to hear the following things?  (I've been told each of these things in the past two weeks-- all from total strangers!)

5.  You look really good.....for being SO pregnant.
  Thanks!  But can I be honest here?  You would be a great candidate for the Kathy Lee & Hoda makeover segment on the Today show. 

4.  Are you sure there aren't twins in there!?
  Um, yes.  

3.  Wow!  You've really.....blossomed!  and: Wow!  You've really grown!!
  What is this? 1900?  Blossomed?  Really? 

2.  You're due in three weeks?  You're so....tiny.  Is everything okay?
  Thank you for your concern.  According to my midwife, I'm measuring perfectly--down to the day to be precise.  But see that lady over there?  She thinks I'm having twins.  Why don't you take up your concern with her.  

1.  Wow.  You look like you're going to POP at any minute!
  Great to know.  In fact, I had just been wondering what I looked like-- you know, I haven't seen myself since getting knocked nine months ago.  And I barely noticed how huge this belly is--you know, it doesn't weigh a thing or cramp my style at all.  

I suppose these comments could be upsetting-- but they mostly just make me crinkle my eyebrows and cock my head and wonder, "What the......?"  And then I make a mental note of what not to say the next time I see a very pregnant lady at the checkout line in Target.

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