Friday, November 18, 2016


I'm having a hard time digesting the results of the election-- feeling so many mixed emotions and trying, with little success, to talk myself back into a positive mindset.  Has it really only been ten days???  On the Wednesday following, my mood steadily deteriorated-- to the point of shedding tears in my van on the way home.  (To which, Charlie asked, "Are you sad because of the election?"-- and I was again reminded that nothing gets by that kid...)  But instead of dwelling on the sadness and disappointment (and yes, a little fear) that I'm dealing with right now, I think it might be better to write about what else is happening in Spahnville at this moment in time. (I'll write about the election another night-- if I can stomach it and figure out a way to do it in a productive and positive way.)

Time keeps marching by and nobody in this house is getting any younger.  I've never been obsessed with my age (cruised right into my 30's without blinking and figured the same would apply until I turn 100...) but the end of my 30's are coming round the bend and I'm starting to feel this strange push to re-evaluate where I am and what I've accomplished and where I still want to go.  It's weird and very unusual for me.  My brain is constantly spinning and thinking about "what if's" and "why nots". It's all very exciting but incredibly exhausting-- which is why I try to take naps in the afternoon instead of working towards these hopes and dreams.

Anna, like most 2 year olds, also naps in the afternoons.  On a ridiculously successful day, Anna will snooze for 2 non-interrupted hours.  Most days, however, she sleeps for 45-60 minutes before announcing that she's all done and wants Daddy.  Since Daddy is not home during naps, this infuriates her and some days, she is inconsolable for a good 30 minutes.  At night, Anna sleeps fairly well.  She seems to finally be adjusted to her big-girl bed (which took place shortly before her 2nd birthday) but this has led to a new development in the form of me snuggling with her in the middle of most nights.  I never would have done this with Charlie because I was just too high-strung at that time-- and didn't believe that things could really be "just a phase".  With Anna, I'm honestly just too exhausted to a) care, and b) want to really sleep in my own bed because hers is pretty comfy.  And I like the way she smells after her bath.  Oh, and I know that this really probably is 'just a phase' and so I might as well cuddle & squeeze into her bed while she allows it.

Anna has a ton of words and is talking incessantly.  She strings words together in sentences and keeps us in stitches with her crazy insights.  She'll patter up to us while we're drinking coffee and say, "Mama like it?" as she nods her head yes... "Mama drink coffee?" "You like it?"  She holds her own when it comes to Charlie (or anyone) bothering her, and will very assertively stand her ground saying, "Top It!".  She constantly wants food (um, hello thighs and belly?!) and she's often found getting into the pantry and opening up random things.  She also loves to place things in random places-- have I mentioned this before? We find sippy cups in drawers, brown sugar in the bathroom, half-eaten apples in the laundry basket.  It's usually cute until it happens with perishable items and then it's kind of stinky.

Anna loves to be outside more than anything.  Our doors must remain locked at all times because she's been known to wander out on a few occasions.  And while she absolutely LOVES shoes, she usually doesn't wear them outside (paying homage to her hippie roots on her maternal side).  If she does agree to shoes, it's usually flip flops-- which gain attention wherever we go.  Fortunately, our incredible weather has allowed her to keep flipping around in her flops as she plays in leaves, draws with sidewalk chalk, and pushes pumpkins around in the Tonka truck.  On the few chilly days we've had, we've retreated to the basement-- usually dancing or running or destroying it.

Charlie is helpful in all of these endeavors.   He still plays his running game--which has been going on since he was three or four-- I can't even remember now.  Anna now follows suit and asks for "sirt off?" so she can run around in her undies just like her older, wiser, brother. I'm not sure exactly when he morphed from little boy into elementary kid-- but it's been quite the transformation.  He's soaking up knowledge and it spills out of him when we're least expecting it.  (The other night, Anna was bouncing on his tummy.  He cried out, "Mommy!  Help me!! Anna's bouncing on my digestive system!") He reads, he jokes, he's getting familiar with new kid trends and lingo. Just the other day I noticed our fridge alphabet letters spelling: ICUP.  I stood there, puzzled, until Charlie noticed and said (with a huge grin on his face), "Do you get it?? Get it??  I....See....You...Pee!!"  Hilarious.  (Actually, it did kind of crack me up...)

School is going well for C this year.  Things started off a little rocky but both he and I have been very intentional about having good mornings-- and we're doing great.  At school, he's reading and writing and mathing but most importantly, he's being a good person and a kind friend.  His teacher noted that he's always willing to help and never complains about his peers.

At home, Charlie is still Anna's biggest fan.  I can honestly only count two times that he has been frustrated enough with her to raise his voice-- and even then, he felt so guilty for being mad at her.  I can say with 100% certainty that she is his entire world.  Outside of his Anna-world, Charlie is still crazy for Star Wars (especially Return of the Jedi-- is that the one with the Ewaks?), loves all things sports (we are still bleeding Cubbie blue around here!!), is still obsessed with matchbox cars, and has now taken a serious interest in collecting all the Shopkins in the world.  He's sweet and funny and caring and pretty amazing.

Sometimes, in the evening, I reflect on the day and think about my harsh tongue or quick temper.  I remember the things I wish I hadn't said or the impatient sighs I wish I hadn't given breath to.  Words and gestures that sneaked into our relationship without an invitation. But then I'm reminded to acknowledge that days are often long and hard.  And as we tell Anna, "being two is hard!" (She usually responds with wails of, "I Free!! I NOT Two!) But taking time to sit and reflect reminds me of all this good-- all these simple, daily, treasures that really are the heart of Spahnville.  And it's all pretty good.