Friday, November 18, 2011

Are These the Golden Years?

I don't know how to start this blog any other way than to say that I think I'm basically obsessed with my kid.  I've become the mom I didn't think I would ever be.  I think it's finally "clicked"-- I feel totally and completely 100% in love with C almost all the time.

So here's the thing:
I'm worried about losing this feeling!  

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me, "Oh just wait until......"  This has been going on from the moment I announced that we were expecting.  

"Oh, you're not getting morning sickness?  Just wait until nothing sounds appetizing."
"You're still feeling fine?  Just wait until you're nine months pregnant!"
"You want to have a drug-free birth?  Just wait until you're in the most pain of your life!"
"You think having a 4 month old is bad?  Just wait until they start crawling!"
"You think crawling is bad?  Just wait until they start walking!"
"You think things are good now?  Enjoy it because wait until he's three!"
"You think he say's 'NO' now? Just wait until you have teenager who talks back!" 

But honestly, as C has gotten older, he's been much easier to handle.  Maybe my view is skewed because he was such a fussy baby--so any toddler fit pales in comparison to 4+ hours of evening crying.  And I've come to realize that when I tell people that things are going well, then they're going to point out that I better cling to this feeling because surely it is fleeting and bound to get about a thousand times worse at some point in the near future. 

Up until now, I've LOVED watching C transition from phase to phase.  It's been so much fun to listen to his vocabulary expand and to see his comprehension really start kicking in.  I love watching him become  a little person and honestly, I've welcomed each new phase with open arms.  I've been excited to watch him grow up and get bigger and become more independent so I don't know why I should stop that now---I think it's just because I'm hearing so many negatives about "what's to come". (People want others to be happy.... but not "super happy")

The bulk of my job relies on me developing relationships with children, and maintaining them so that (hopefully) they feel like they have at least one advocate in the school building.  Of course, there are many other things I need to do in my job, but I see building relationships as my #1 priority.  And, I feel pretty confident in doing this.  But, I think a lot of teachers would feel this way and I also think most would say "it's different with your own kid".  So my question is, "Does it have to be?"  How can parents and kids come to know each other and respect each other as people --before the kid is 25 (I think that's the age when I finally realized my parents were actual people).  How do I keep my cuddly little mama's boy from turning into a sassy, rude, teenager? How do I teach him that it's okay to be sensitive and emotional but still be a rough & tumble little guy?  How do I encourage him to hang out with his family--even when he's at a point in his life where his peers are the most important to him?  Am I really going to look back on his toddler years as the best years of "us"?  In other words, "Is this as good as it gets?"  Or is it actually possible for us to grow together--to get to  know each other as individuals and hopefully enjoy each other's company every now and then?  

So right now, I admit that I'm kind of feeling "super happy" when it comes to C.  He's at such a great phase.  He is so curious, he's such an explorer, and he definitely has his own thoughts and ideas!  (This can, at times, be maddening as I pretend to be a detective and decipher the meaning of his words using his limited vocabulary) I love so many things about being a "toddler mom" but I'm just a little apprehensive that this tiny moment of parental bliss will be gone before I know it. 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think that it is a matter of losing that feeling - more of that feeling changing a long with the growth of your child. I don't think that there is a way to avoid the sassy teenager.... but when that time comes hopefully we as parents have developed enough of a relationship with the child to apreciate it for what it is and love them through that stage as much as we did the toddler stage!